Just when I start thinking, things are going to be fine, something else comes along to trouble my life.
Today, all went fine until evening. Then, my ex boyfriend turned up on the yahoo messenger.
Despite me not responding to his messages for so long, he came up again and this time, tried the dramatic approach saying, he was saying his final goodbyes to me as he was going to die(he's always been leaving messages knowing I dont respond back. He's been trying to make me talk to him again and again.) I hadnt responded until now but today,horror and shock made me write back to him. Perhaps, somewhere I still care for the sodden bastard. Somewhere I cant stop loving him despite things. Pathetic me.
I found out he was lying and wrote that just to catch my attention. I cried. Couldnt stop. Was it relief, was it anger, grief that he could make such a joke; I dont know. I told him again, in no uncertain terms that he should stop talking to me and let me move on with my life.
After I finished with him, I was so upset with myself. Somehow I couldnt stop crying. Priyanka, she called him up and told him again that he was never to upset me again,not to talk to me again. I dont know how much that would work but there it is. She tried. I must give her credit for that. She knew him when I'd been going around with him, while his stay in India.
Anyway, to cheer me up; she said we could go out and spend some time, girls only. I had a premonition but didnt know what it might be until I finally spotted that the whole evening that I'd been outside, a car had been following us. Call it irrational fear but the court date is nearby and it could be my ex-husband who has promised me he will see me killed. I had noticed it before but didnt think much about it. But when, on the way home, it followed us to our appartment and slowly crawled by, I had chills.
Tomorrow, I call up my lawyer and I think, I need to relauch the complain of life threat with the Police. PLUS, I need to get out of here fast. I might not be safe in this city or even in India.
I dont know if it is irrational fear or just my hunch that if I dont get out, something might happen to me. But there it is. I'm too shook up to work at the moment, so am going to watch something..a movie or something to relax myself and try to sleep.
Sometimes, life goes in slow phases and sometimes, it tells you, "hightime girl, decide what you can do and get out." I wonder if I'd be fast enough and beat death.
So long!
See you guys later!
